Updated: Oct 4
Many women tend to focus on the phrase, “If you love me, then you would know ________!” Movies and romantic novels work against our understanding of reality. In fact, in fairy tales the hero is often pampering his love, as well as anticipating every one of her whims before she even has the chance to tell him. That's how he wins her heart and how she falls in love. This Shakespearean point of view has truly done so much damage to real life couples.
We are all created unique. This makes you and your spouse unavoidably different. Your family of origin, your childhood upbringing, the examples you had around you during your years of life before your spouse, and even your personality certainly explain these differences.
It is very wrong to assume that your husband can and should guess what you are thinking without you having to say a word.
Your communication as a couple will be more productive and satisfying if you take the time to say your unspoken expectation out loud. Your husband will not love you less, for example, if you need to tell him that you would really appreciate him running to the store to buy a particular item in order to avoid having dinner late.
If you catch yourself thinking with a deep sense of anger and frustration in your heart, “Seriously, what kind of man did I marry !!! He didn't even think to do _______ for me !!!” I encourage you to tell him what you wished he had guessed you wanted rather than finding yourselves completely disappointed and frustrated because your expectations remained unspoken.
>>This key is a sneak peek into our e-book “11 Keys to Better Communication” from the series “60 Keys to Better Your Relationship". In this book you will learn: the importance of listening to your spouse without anticipating your answers in advance, how to avoid feeling disappointed and frustrated because your expectations have remained unspoken, and much much more! It is full of practical advice that will enable you to find win-win solutions no matter your differences.