"What Can I Do For You?"

Updated: Oct 4

Gentlemen, how many times have you been face to face with your wife in the middle of a conversation, when suddenly the tone rises, or a heavy silence settles in and you are left totally confused, secretly asking yourself what you can possibly do to fix the situation? Sometimes you may even wonder what you did or said to cause the conversation to nose-dive and generate so much tension between the both of you.

Husbands, let me tell each of you a secret that you will thank me for later :-)

Every time you find yourself in this delicate position, no matter the circumstance, you always have the right to ask your sweetheart, either one of these two questions or even both at the same time:

“My dear, my love, what can I do to help you?”
or “what do you need?”

By asking these questions, you place the ball in her court and this will give her the chance to clearly express what she needs from you. By doing so, you also prove your interest in her and validate her present feelings. In the end, you both win!

All of us men have the right to not automatically nor immediately understand what our wife expects of us, what she needs, or what reassures her in moments of conflict. The way their emotions work is very different from the way ours work.

These questions will allow you to avoid giving an answer based on what you would do if you were in her situation. We tend to look for an immediate solution, to fix what is damaged, so that the frustrating situation is over as soon as possible. However, this can sometimes be a drawback to coming to a fuller understanding of the root of the problem.

By asking these questions, there will be no more guessing games. If your wife simply wants to be reassured and held, you'll know exactly what to do! If she needs your help, you will know it is time to find a solution. 

So, gentlemen, hide this question in your heart and be sure to pull it out and ask it frequently:

“My dear, what can I do for you?”

>>This key is a sneak peek into our e-book “11 Keys to Better Communication” from the series “60 Keys to Better Your Relationship". In this book you will learn: the importance of listening to your spouse without anticipating your answers in advance, how to avoid feeling disappointed and frustrated because your expectations have remained unspoken, and much much more! It is full of practical advice that will enable you to find win-win solutions no matter your differences.