Updated: Sep 11
This question comes up very often in the letters we receive in our ministry to couples.
Since this is a complex question, it requires multiple answers. Keep in mind that this question insinuates that you truly want to obey and please God in and through your love life.
First let’s address the scenario of you living together, without being married and without children. This relationship cannot last because you are living outside the covenant of marriage, which means you are outside of God's will for your life. Ask for forgiveness, then change your lifestyle.
Either you decide to sanctify your relationship by marriage, or you must end the relationship. Before you make this life altering decision, take time to consider what God says in His Word. The Bible clearly says that Christians are not to enter into the covenant of marriage with a an unbeliever who does not accept or rejects Christ. (“Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith].” 2 Corinthians 6:14, AMP)
The second scenario is when your relationship has given birth to children. In this case it is obviously necessary to think of their well-being. They need a dad and a mom to raise them, love them and most importantly to share with them their faith in Jesus. In this case, unless you are in a toxic and/or dangerous relationship, the wisest thing to do is to be joined before God in marriage.
If you are already married, then the Bible is very clear. Paul’s words are simple: stay with your spouse, and pray for them! Your simple presence and your prayers protect your children. It is also possible that by your godly testimony you can bring your spouse to the faith, because God always wants to bless a marriage! (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)
No matter the circumstances, let your lifestyle reflect that of your Savior!
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Eric and Rachel Dufour