When Faced with Long-Term Separation, Prepare!



We have received many emails from couples who live in two different countries and face serious difficulties in their relationships. Putting thousands of kilometers between a husband and wife cannot help the couple grow and flourish. Building a marriage relationship is already a challenge. If this challenge is to be faced when being absent from each other, it becomes almost impossible!


A temporary geographical separation accepted by both spouses is manageable when the necessary adjustments are made. If, for example, one of the spouses has a short term  professional reason to be gone, like when a spouse is in the army, the couple can decide in advance how to cultivate healthy communication during this period of separation.


Some ideas:

  • Prepare letters to be read sporadically throughout the period of separation.

  • Prepare “coded sentences” that will allow you to discreetly have intimate conversations.

  • Take pictures of your spouse with you so that eyes can be filled with images of your other half.

  • Record videos in advance to keep your kids connected to their absent parent.

  • Anticipate important family events that will happen during this time of separation and make sure that the absent parent can participate in these events.

  • Prepare for their return. It will take time to reconnect, this is normal, but do not let the distance between you continue after you have been reunited.

However, if this time of separation turns into something permanent, remember that according to God's order of priorities, your relationship is more important than your job or your ministry.


Do not accept permanent geographic distance as the “norm”. Make the necessary arrangements to reunite your couple. One of the two will have to move and join the other.


Your marriage is precious; it is a gift from God. Do not neglect it and do not put it in danger by ignoring the God basic instructions to help keep our lives in order. Keep your priorities in divine order by putting your marriage before your activities!


>>This key is a sneak peek into our e-book “12 Keys to Staying In-Love” from the series “60 Keys to Better Your Relationship”. We created this book to be an interactive journey with you and your spouse. Each key provides a new concept to help your relationship be the best it can be. 


Click here to buy the e-book and get access to all 12 Keys!



Rachel DUFOUR